I'm in a strange place.
Surgery is done. Mouth is healing. I am eating more and my energy level is back to normal for the most part. I have returned to the day-to-day tasks as a stay at home mom; making breakfast and lunches, getting kids off to school, doing the laundry, running errands, driving the kids to practices, etc.
Things are eerily normal.
This happened before.
After being diagnosed and going to a bagillion appointments there were a couple weeks before my surgery where there was a calm. It was like nothing happened. Appointments stopped and I was suddenly back in my day-to-day routine as I had been prior to January 25, the day I was diagnosed. I knew the surgery was coming but life didn't know that. It just went on, and I with it, going through my routine with the knowing that things would be different soon.
Then I had my surgery and things were different. I needed to heal, to rest, to figure out my new mouth. I had post-op appointments that slowly faded away and I am finding myself back in the calm.
There is a stillness and a silence here that is beautiful yet in the same breathe there is a quiet tension lingering knowing that on the horizon the next storm is waiting to arrive, radiation and chemo.
So this is where I am; in the calm before the next storm.
Some days I want to move things along, yet I then reel myself in knowing that I needed this time to heal, in body, mind and stay grounded in Spirit. These calms too are a blessing for our children (and me) to have time to process each step slowly and get a break from the crazy and settle back into a kind of normalcy.
These calms are an interesting place to be.
Do you too find yourself in that eerie place, the quiet calm before a known storm? If so, I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
Although we may know the storm is coming we don't know its potency. Let's take this time in the calm to be still with God. To practice trusting that the calm is there to give us space to prepare our hearts and minds for what is to come. Let's give thanks for the calm and not look at this time as empty space but use it to deepen our relationship with God, and one another, so we are stronger to handle the storm coming our way.
With love and hope,