As my child fell asleep last night, I sat beside them in the their bed reading a book. I loved simply being beside them, relaxing, reading, with nowhere to go, nowhere to be.
I had taken this picture the other day. I was in an old factory building and I just liked the look of it and didn't think much of it. Then tonight as I was reading I had a moment of clarity...
I need to lay down the ladder.
What am I talking about?
Ever since I wrote my book I have the hope of getting it into the hands of people who need to hear its message. Yet that hope has slowly evolved into pressure within with thoughts like should I get an agent? should I try and get a publisher? should I do this or should I that? It gets me all discombobulated within and at times is where my thoughts go instead of being present with those with whom I am with - like my kids. Is this pressure I am putting on myself or is it what society expects an author should do? I don't know. What I do know is that last night I realized I was climbing a ladder in my mind and what was, wasn't enough.
The truth is, what is IS enough.
I simply want to share a message of hope and encourage people who they are is enough, inside and out, and to be a light of love in this dark world. That's it, that's all. And whether that message reaches three people or thirty thousand people it doesn't matter. It won't make me more than or less than who I am either way.
The sad thing was I was starting to buy into the idea that it would make me less than if I didn't reach more people.
It makes me laugh because my book is about living from the inside out! And I was letting the outside creep back in to define me.
Nope. Not anymore.
Today I am recommitting to live from the inside out. (I did call it a journey for a reason;-)
I am me. I don't need anything other than who I am and what I have in this moment to be content. Sitting beside my child last night reminded me of that.
I could spend my time attached to a screen searching for an agent or a publisher OR spend my time making a positive impact of those around me, in my home and in my community. I choose the latter. Yes, seeking, searching, striving, climbing may bring me success as the world sees it but the success I long for is the quiet peace within my heart that comes from loving others fully and deeply.
That is what success really is - it isn't climbing a ladder - it's being who you are, where you are with a peaceful heart.
Are you too climbing a ladder society tells you to be on?
I invite you to come beside me and let's lay down the ladder.
Let's take a moment to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
Let's let go of the busy, going-going-going, achieve more, sleep less roller coaster. Instead let's align with the person we were made to be and grow at peace with who we are, where we are today. This doesn't mean God's plan won't take us somewhere tomorrow, but we need to stop the striving, climbing and reaching and make space for God to guide us - for that path will be the path of lasting peace.
Together let's lay down the ladder and let go and trust God. For me there is freedom in that truth - I hope you feel that too.
"May God the source of hope, fill you completely with his joy and peace because you trust in him, and may you overflow with confident hope by the power of Spirit." -Romans 15:13